thanks, seth

seth godin highlights this 'beat our cashier at rock paper scissors and get a dollar off promotion' in his latest post. He goes on to suggest this as a strategy to all businesses, and asks the rhetorical question "What's the worst that could happen?" and answers it with a couple things that don't sound all that bad: higher morale, better service, more fun and ice cream for everyone!

Proving that Seth Godin has obviously never worked a retail job in his life.

What's the worst that could happen? Well, my guess is that June 20th probably went down like this:

"Paper covers rock sir, I'm sorry"
"Well, best two out of three?"
"Sorry sir, the promotion states we only do a single round"
"Well can I get a dollar off anyways?"
"Sorry, you have to win the rock paper scissors game in order to get the discount"
"Why can't you just give me the dollar off?"
"Because the promotion states that you must win the game in order to receive the discount"
"Can my wife play you and get the dollar off?"
"Sorry, we only allow one game per party"
"Well, why can't my wife play you"
"One game per party sir"
"Well, I think I should get the dollar off"
"Ok, sir"
"Ok, you'll give me the dollar off?"
"No sir, you have to win the game in order to get the dollar off"
"Well what kind of stupid shit is that?"
"That's the promotion sir"

or, quite possibly like this:

"Would you like to play rock paper scissors and get a dollar off?"
"What?"
"We're running a promotion. If you win a game of rock paper scissors you get a dollar off your order"
"Why?"
"It's a promotion"
"I don't want to play that shit. I just want my food"

Here's an idea for a promotion -- treat your employees like fucking adults and not three year olds. This RPS game sounds like exactly the sort of stupid shit that someone in the marketing department thinks will be 'fun' without any day to day knowledge of what is actually happening on the ground in their stores and without ever having dealt with a customer. Guess what, Seth? It's not "FUN" to be forced to do dumb bullshit that is going to make your day a hell of a lot longer. I always wondered where all these ridiculous fucking ideas that just fly in the fucking face of reality come from and then i started reading your blog. It was an epiphany of sorts -- I pulled back the curtain expecting a drunk clown and it was a man in a sweater and glasses.

Seriously, dude. Work ONE week in retail. Try to make your ideas about 'better serving people' a reality. See how people actually behave, and then you'll realize why all these things that supposedly 'get in the way of selling' exist -- because a lot of people are jerks.

and turn on your fucking comments, pussy.